This is just about, eh-hem, nuts

Hey, you live long enough, you think you've seen it all, right? Guess I haven't lived long enough because I can still be surprised, and not in a good way. Well, in a silly, funky, bizarre way, which is only close.

It seems a businessman from Missouri developed (and sold 100,000 of) a doggy prosthetic for the pooch who's been, uh, you know, altered.

Yes, Neuticles come (not anymore, snort) in three sizes and levels of firmness, and are designed to protect your dog's "appearance and self-esteem." These synthetic canine testicles have been available for ten years (who knew?) and are also available for (are you ready?) cats, horses, and bulls (if you're brave enough to strap them on, that is).

From the Neuticles website at http://neuticles.com/index1.html:

"With Neuticles- It's like nothing ever changed!"

"Neuticles are just plain neat!" -- Rush Limbaugh
(Which begs the question . . . but well, actually, I don't think I want to know.)

So there you have it. I did a search and found a ton of sites devoted to Neuticles, including diagrams of the product. I'm sorry, but they look like different sizes of Oscar Meyer weenies (http://thediagram.com/4_4/neuticles.html).

So talk it over with Fido. Two things may surprise you. 1. That he is indeed embarassed by what he lacks; and 2. That he can talk (hello!).

Here's woofing at you . . .

Marianne